After Party Meltdown

APM is very common among young children. It can happen after a party, a special holiday or any overindulgence. I’ve seen it played out in all three of my kids and all 12 of our grandchildren. Child psychologists call it over stimulation.

I remember being in the back seat of our Ford family car and coming home from a glorious day at the circus. My sister and I were decked out in new matching dresses and new shoes we’d got just for the special outing and we started fighting over whose circus program was whose (even though they were identical).

The battle triggered a rash of admonishments from both of our parents in the front seat. Dad was first, “Girls, knock off the bickering or I’m gonna stop the car and take the programs away!” Mom chimed in, “I can’t believe you girls are fighting after all we’ve done for you today. Here we take you to the circus, you got brand new matching dresses and new shoes and we let you have hot dogs and Cokes and souvenirs and you’ve been fighting ever since we got in the car!” I recall feeling ashamed.

APM tends to go into remission as children mature, but the potential for its reoccurrence remains even into adulthood and it sneaks out in adults in subtle ways but it’s no more attractive than the episodes children display.

APM can start with just an, “is-that-all-there-is” feeling. It can emerge as a vacation winds down, as we drive in the driveway with a cranky knowing of what was put off in order to have the fun. It can appear in the form of the “full” feeling after a feast, or the frustration of receiving credit card statements in January reflecting the joy of holiday purchases. Acquisition is fun! Maintenance sucks and so do the bills that follow it.

With firework stands popping out like gnats on a rotten banana, in preparation for our country’s celebration of its freedom, I got to thinking about that word, “freedom.”  Patriotism is really all about being grateful that we live in a free country.

Freedom and responsibility go hand-in-hand and it’s up to us to raise responsible citizens of our free country. I remember my mom saying, “Raising children is like holding the reins on a fine horse. If you give the horse too much slack, it’ll run wild, pull back too tightly (being too strict) and it won’t go forward.”

The 4^th of July was a big deal to my mom and she instilled such a love for my country in me. As an American, I asked myself, ‘why am I patriotic? I came up with these 5 tips. Hey, I figure if they worked on me, they could probably work on any kid.

You don’t have to have read my blog, Children Will Listen (Part One) before you read this blog, but you won’t want to miss it, as it’ll help you communicate with your children in two very interesting ways. Here are some more talking tips I’ve found helpful as a mom and a grandmother.

1. You Listen

If your children are shorter than you, as often as you can, when they have something to tell you, kneel down or sit down together so you are on the same level and can really pay attention. After all that’s what you want your children to do when you have something important to say. I suspect adults who are unable to have eye contact in conversation, probably were not listened to as children. (Just my guess, but something to think about.)

Have you ever noticed that kids talk way more when they’re in the car with you? I think it’s because everyone is on the same level. Car listening is a great way to find out what your children are thinking, so limit their use of headphones in the car and listen.