7 Ways to Avoid Meltdowns

Just the thought of your children throwing a fit in public can cause you to have a meltdown. Relax, mamas, it’s normal for kids to have meltdowns, they’re part of growing up. However, even though meltdowns are normal, don’t let them become the norm. If children are allowed to throw fits, without your disapproval and consequence, they will learn to use that negative behavior to get their way. You are the boss. Here are my 7 ways to avoid meltdowns.

You don’t have to have read my blog, Children Will Listen (Part One) before you read this blog, but you won’t want to miss it, as it’ll help you communicate with your children in two very interesting ways. Here are some more talking tips I’ve found helpful as a mom and a grandmother.

1. You Listen

If your children are shorter than you, as often as you can, when they have something to tell you, kneel down or sit down together so you are on the same level and can really pay attention. After all that’s what you want your children to do when you have something important to say. I suspect adults who are unable to have eye contact in conversation, probably were not listened to as children. (Just my guess, but something to think about.)

Have you ever noticed that kids talk way more when they’re in the car with you? I think it’s because everyone is on the same level. Car listening is a great way to find out what your children are thinking, so limit their use of headphones in the car and listen.

Children Will Listen (Part One)

2 Ways It’ll Happen

Something happened yesterday that prompted me to write to you about getting kids to listen. Shannon, my next-door-neighbor, brought her two young children, Rachel, age 11 and Connor, age six over for a visit. She’s teaching them to converse with adults outside of family. We covered many topics from the Viet Nam War and my husband Terry’s loss of three buddies, to music, to Flylady and me being organized.

Connor, a typical six-year-old, started getting fidgety about fifteen minutes into our conversation. Sliding down onto the floor as his mom went on about how far behind she was with the housework what with soccer, school projects, track and a million other kid-related activities taking up her time, Connor was obviously not interested.

Rachel told us about how her desk at school is always organized and that she just comes by being organized naturally. She told that she’d offered to help a friend organize her messy desk but so far the friend hadn’t accepted.

After a stint of quiet squirming on the floor, Connor got back up on the couch and onto his mom’s lap like a puppy that’s getting too big to be held. Obviously bored, but never interrupting the adults, or his older sister when she had the floor, Connor, finally asked his mom if he could go home.

Politely he said goodbye and thanked us for having him over and headed out the front door for home. Shannon and Rachel stayed and talked another half hour.

Did you hear that American Way (American Airline’s inflight magazine) is featuring the House Fairy this month? The House Fairy is flying high on this news and she prompted me to celebrate such wonderful publicity by making this handy dandy tip sheet for you mamas who fly. With vacation time here, and if flying is in your plans AND you’re taking the kids with you, here are what made my top ten list for happy flying. . . short of drugs. 

I know which one is my favorite, which one is yours?

1. Be Prepared                    

Designate a carry-on as the entertainment bag. Keep what’s in it a secret, bringing out surprises as the trip goes. Busy kids are happy kids. Bored ones have the ability to terrorize everyone on a flight, including you.

• books
• notebooks
• pens
• crayons
• coloring books
• Ipad with favorite movie 
• Kindle

Children have very small ear canals and when the cabin is pressurized tiny ears can hurt. Chewing sugarless gum can help and once the jet is air bound it isn’t needed. 

3. Let it Suck              

Nurse during take-off, or have a binky ready. I don’t think I’ve ever taken off without hearing an infant screaming because his little ears hurt. Sucking helps.

4. Turn Bedtime into Fly-time        

Matching PJs don’t just have to be at Christmastime. Deck your whole family out in new jammies for the flight. You’ll crack up the flight attendants as well as fellow passengers. Tell your kids you get to have a pajama party on the plane. You may have a hard time sleeping on a flight, but I’ve never met a kid on a red-eye that wasn’t asleep and I’d love to see a fun-loving family dressed for bed on a red-eye.

It’s a battle that’s waged in millions of households across America every Saturday morning. When I was a kid, I called it the SRF, Saturday Room Fit!

Mom would stand in the doorway to my very messy bedroom, hands on her hips, eyes blazing like a drill sergeant barking commands to her new recruits and her voice, behind clenched teeth, like a cat in battle for its life, would hit my tender eardrums, “You are NOT leaving this room until it’s clean!”

Most moms feel frustrated with their kids’ messy rooms and they feel they need to impose some sense of order or they’ve failed. If your kids have messy rooms, you are not a failure and neither are your children. Let’s not freak out about this issue. Hey, Stephen Spielberg’s mom was scared to go in his room when he was a boy, because it was such a mess.

My mom was so frustrated with my disorganized sister and me that she researched the problem. One psychologist said, “Just shut the door to their room and out of a natural desire for order, they’ll clean it up eventually.” Those were pre-Google days, and unfortunately that recommendation is still being disseminated to weary moms throughout the Internet. It’s not good advice. My sister and I had no semblance of a natural desire for order and that’s what lead to the dreaded SRF.

You Already Intuitively Know This

Establishing regular routines for yourself and your children provides some predictability and stability in your home life. Knowing how to clean and do basic chores will serve your children when they grow up and manage homes of their own.

Having kids put things in order teaches them to be responsible for their things and when we moms can make the process fun, we change the game from the SRF to joy and excitement! So how can you change something that’s been a battle into something that’s suddenly fun?

Jones’s Delivery Service

My sister had three babies in three years (that tells you how disorganized she was). One day she asked her middle son Jeff to put away the clothes she’d folded. He was playing with his Legos and ignored her. She asked him again, getting the typical response of a four-year-old, “Okay, just a minute.” She wanted the clothes to be put away immediately and as she drew in a big breathe to yell the order; she decided to change her tactic. She put a hand to one of her ears and said:

“Ring, ring, ring?”

Jeff looked up with a puzzled look on his face, but she had his attention. She said,

“Answer your phone,” pointing to a pretend phone in the air.

He picked up the imaginary phone and said: “Hello?”

“Hi, is this the Jones Delivery Service?” She then whispered out of character, “use that box as your truck.”

“Yes, this is the Jones Delivery Service.”

“Oh great! I’ve heard so much about you! You’re quick and dependable and you travel anywhere to deliver stuff.”

“Yes, we do!”

“Well, I need you to come to 6934 SW Gleason and pick up some stuff to be delivered.”

Jeff proceeded to run the box (using a motor sound) all around the living room, ending with the sound of squeaky brakes.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re here! I need these clothes to be delivered to their owners.”

Jeff proceeded to put the piles of folded laundry into the perspective rooms with a great deal of joy!

Peggy warned, that the next day, she tried to get Jeff’s attention with, “ring, ring, ring,” and Jeff responded, “The Joneses are not in.”

Today’s blog was written mainly for your entertainment. I have snuck a tip in for you moms who have to fly with a toddler, but otherwise this blog is just meant to help you lighten up.

Since 9/11, our lives and travel have drastically changed. 

(How am I doing? Don’t worry, the fun parts coming.)

Because of those evil terrorists, we’re all use to being searched; scanned and occasionally ex-rayed (they promise it’s only radio waves). We all know not to carry knives, guns, hand grenades, bombs, sewing scissors, knitting needles, water bottles and liquid or jell cosmetics in containers larger than three ounces, and we all obediently take off our shoes, jackets, belts and coats, and dump out our pockets before we run our bodies through the detection devices. But there is one lethal weapon I manage to slip passed those inspections, every time I fly some place. I’ll tell you what it is later.

It’s funny; I’ve been pulled over by the uniformed checkers many times as they invariably discover some suspicious object in my carry-on suitcase that looks questionable to them. Every time I’ve been hauled aside and processed they’ve let me go with the item in question and of course I also get through with my lethal weapon.

One time an agent who flagged me, had a hard time getting my suitcase unzipped because that zipper dealy was missing. Those little tabs must come off very easily, especially when there are 14-piece luggage sets out there for $99.99. Anyway, she actually had a Sucrets tin full of zipper pullers and I got to pick one, which she attached and I was on my way (with my lethal weapon).

A Tip for Mom Traveling with an Unruly Toddler 

I interrupt this blog with a tip for moms traveling with toddlers. One of my friends, who had to fly with her rather hyper three-year-old, told me this worked wonders for her. “I warned Rachel to behave or the Jet Police would have to come. I pointed out the TSA uniformed agents and told her they also look out for badly behaved children. I didn’t scare her out of her wits and I didn’t tell her what’d happen if they caught her being a brat; I just used the suggestion as a way to teach her respect for those in uniform and it definitely gave me psychological back-up. I also had a carry-on full of surprises to entertain her. The flight was a delight!”  

The Rest of the Story 

Only women will understand and know what my extremely dangerous and lethal weapon is. Have you guessed what it is yet? I’ll narrow it down a little more; only large-breasted women will understand and know what my extremely dangerous and lethal weapon is. It’s the bra with underwire.

If you are large-breasted and wear bras with underwire, you have, no doubt, had an underwire cut through the casing and expose itself. Whenever that has happened to my bras, (which is occasionally) I just shove the wiring back in and hand-sew it, until it works its way back out again. Now there’s a reason that those underwires have the ability to work their way through the original and then secondary sewing. They’re razor sharp! I am not exaggerating! They’re razor, like in scalpel, sharp. I know, because, out of curiosity, I’ve pulled an underwire totally out of a bra I had, and I cut myself seriously.  

Watch Out for Pamela Anderson

The underwire is U-shaped like a garrote. Now think about this: a razor sharp, U-shaped wire in the hands of a skilled-killer could sever a head in one simple swipe. I’m not saying the next terrorist will be shaped like Pamela Anderson, or that the TSA people should start eyeing woman with big breasts instead of confiscating ten-ounce tubes of Crest and knitting needles. I’m just saying, that in any given flight, a large-breasted woman who, God forbid, was a terrorist, could simply pull on the tip of an exposed wire, easily whip it out and in less than 30 seconds, behead the flight attendant serving her nuts and coffee.

Put a six-pack of large-breasted terrorists on a flight, and the jet goes wherever they want it to go.

I don’t want to make you anxious about the next time you fly and we certainly don’t need to start profiling voluptuous women any more than we should fear women dressed in burkas. I’m just suggesting that TSA really look at how ridiculous some of their official scrutiny is, when a large-breasted woman like myself can get through the lines with such a lethal weapon.  

I’m curious, have you ever thought about this before? I’d love to hear from you, if you have. I have a comment section here on the blog just for us.

Because this blog was written for entertainment, maybe you’d like to read one of my more substantive writings that are just for moms: Do You Have An Imaginative Child? 

I am delighted to announce the House Fairy now has a forum where young moms can privately discuss the joys and challenges they’re having with their children. It’s also for the seasoned moms who have been on all the amusement park rides of motherhood and can issue helpful advice from wisdom and experience.

The creative ideas and inspiring words you all can share with each other will give you encouragement and support, no matter where you are in your journey of raising healthy, happy organized children.

I’m the wind beneath House Fairy’s wings and I’m so grateful to have this platform to keep me in touch and help me stay abreast of what you young moms are thinking and doing. Times are different from when I raised my kids and I truly think you are far more stressed than we moms were in my day. I’m here to help in any way I can to relieve stress and get you to lighten up.

The forum is open to anyone, not just the moms who have purchased a House Fairy program. Of course, we’ll have a moderator to make sure everyone is nice.

To reach the forum click on the button above or please go to: www.housefairy.org. Then to Moms Only and Chat With Other Moms.

See you there, 

Love, 

Living in the northwest, I learned early on, that I couldn’t let the rain dowse our fun outdoors. Just make sure you all have play clothes, so you don’t have to worry about messing up your good clothes.

Whether it's just misting or pouring cats and dogs make the most of the wet weather with these family-tested outdoor activities.

Puddle Play

Mom, you usually discourage your kids from jumping in puddles, so they’ll be shocked and excited when you suggest a splashing contest. Get your play clothes and rain boots on and head out looking for the biggest puddles you can find. Let your kids get soaking wet! Let the child who makes the biggest spray, get to pick the movie the family will watch or be freed from some chore. Give points for the one who gets the wettest. If you’ve got dancers in the family, have them practice some steps they’ve learned.

Mom, come on; get in the puddles with them! Motherhood is not a spectator sport. Let your kids splash you. All it takes is saying, “Don’t you splash me,” in a way they know you’re daring them to do it. Oh and just think how good a hot shower will feel after the fun!

Now that the kids are back in school it’s a great time to streamline their rooms. Children are much more likely to keep them neat if they don't have constipated drawers and closets. Parents have to be the laxative here, because kids can't do it alone, it’s too overwhelming to them. You may or may not have heard my warning: KIDS GROW QUARTERLY.